“He didn’t matter,” she lied

She was young, vibrant and completely lost her mind, when he frowned at her. He sat at the table ignoring her as if invisible. So what, even she was mean to him almost everyday. Sometimes snarky and indifferent too. So, why be so shattered.

She dreamt of him, every night, and waited, everyday. Pretended he didn’t matter. Made friends with his friends. Inside of her was shy, still wore a nice smile and crossed her comfort zone, just to be with him. Never revealed herself to him.. he needed to know her soul.

Couldn’t sleep through the nights, cried, gave up on make up, couldn’t work… and as she gathered her bits together, a memory crossed her mind… when she was younger, more vibrant… and faced the same situation. She fled, leaving all behind.

Now, the choice lied – to repeat or evolve. Life puts us through the same problems, disguised in colourful clothes, till we discover the answers and confirm the lesson finally learnt…. To be continued…

-Neha Jhunjhunwala

©️thoughts just curious

The Tribe that Doesn’t Fit in!

A month ago, at Club Paraiso, Raipur, breakfast table, I remember this fellow guest, who was also a distant relative, inquisitively enquired, if I were facing an acute financial problem. And Oh my God, she was so concerned that “I WAS TEACHING”…. She said, “Neha, I mean… paise ke liye yeh sab?!!!” I still remember the thunderbolt in her voice. 

“Excuse me!!! …..I ….l” I smiled as I ran out of words. 

 I never thought, why I took up teaching in the first place. May be, for the love of it.  Hey, there is more… Recalling the very shy me, though strongly opinionated, I never had a voice. Or perhaps I chose not to speak. Yes it was a choice, out of fear of not being heard, or being mocked at. The fear that a quiet rebel buried within. And as I came out of the shell, I realised, I wasn’t alone – We were a tribe. There were loads like me who genuinely believed – 

♟That the Popular might be a Lie and the Truth hidden in oblivion

♟That there are no rules in life, only we THINK there are

♟That we may not believe in idols and places of worship, and still be close to God

♟That being right in ones own eye is more important than seeming right to the  society 

♟That doing the right thing is important even if it doesn’t serve your interest 

♟That We’d write our own theories, than mugging up the ones given to us

♟That the correct path might be time taking, difficult and  inconvenient, but that’s the way we’d rather travel 

♟That I’d prefer being ME, to being readily Accepted in the society I am suppose to fit 

And so, I happily bore the burden to lead my tribe, my people – the ones with bold loud minds and whispering voices, to where we could find some light. 

– Neha J

©️Thoughts just curious

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